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Josh Allan Dykstra
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Josh Allan Dykstra
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LegacyJuly 2, 2008

Lite-Brites, Sisyphus, & Expecting The Best

When in a position of leadership, how much does a leader's lack of faith in a subordinate actually create their downfall? Is there some kind of derivative of a self-fulfilling prophecy that happens here? To put it another way, will I, as a leader, only ever get as much as I expect out of the folks I try to lead? Is there some kind of projected glass ceiling of progress or productivity that I fabricate over their heads? Or can a leader's unwavering belief in a person actually help propel them towards success? I believe this to be true. I have personally been in a number of situations where it appears as though a protege simply needs someone else to believe in them... and, perhaps most, to believe in them even when they can't believe in themselves. I am hopefully always learning more about myself. It is one of my constant projects: to figure out why I act the way I do. One thing I have learned is that I'm so confined within my own skin that it's often a Sisyphean battle to even understand WHAT I'm doing half the time, as most of my movements have become completely rote programming. But every once in awhile something breaks through, and a light bulb turns on. I imagine I'm like one of those Lite-Brite machines from the 80's... eventually -- just maybe, someday -- I can light up enough LED's to actually get a complete picture of me. At the nonprofit I work with, we're currently looking for a person to take over our one of our departments. I've learned that I have an overwhelming tendency to be extremely optimistic when it comes to people. I always think they can accomplish great things, often more than they may even think. But at the same time, I've learned that a myopic view of only seeing "potential" and not necessarily "reality" can also have a dangerous edge. I know how crucial it is to have the "right people on the bus" and that making a hasty decision on the front end is a very costly error, in more ways than just financially. But as we look to add people to our staff, or to grow the participants we already have for that matter, isn't it more dangerous to set expectations too low, instead of too high? In any kind of relational setting, be it an organization or a friendship or a marriage, isn't there just something about the complete audacity of hope (to quote that other guy); hope that each person involved can change and grow and become more than they currently are? Isn't there just something grand about always looking for the best in people instead of expecting the worst?
The greater danger for most of us is not that we aim too high and miss it. Rather, it is that we aim too low and reach it." — Michelangelo
//
LeadershipMay 11, 2008

Triage Or Die

I've been thinking about the concept of "triage" a lot lately. I understand that being a borderline hypochondriac doesn't exactly qualify me to talk about triage as a medical concept, but I think as a more general idea, the concept of triage has a lot to offer. Allow me to explain... Wikipedia, the most reliable source of information in the world, defines "triage" as:
A process of prioritizing patients based on the severity of their condition so as to treat as many as possible when resources are insufficient for all to be treated immediately. The term comes from the French verb trier, meaning 'to sort, sift or select.'
Doctors use this concept to sort through their "work", so to speak, to accurately prioritize what should be happening now, and what should not. This strikes me as a key life concept. What if we were to broaden the idea of triage into a more general frame? I am becoming more and more convinced that, to be truly effective human beings, we must constantly be in a state of awareness, in a position to persistently perform triage on our own lives, to prioritize and systematically assess what we're doing with the time we have. We all get the same amount of time every day (roughly 24 hours, last I checked), but for some reason, some folks we meet are highly successful -- however we choose to define the term -- and some are not. Why? People that aren't cutting it suck at triage. For some reason (or many reasons) these people can't sort through the myriad details of their lives to be able to separate events and prioritize things. They are either frighteningly lost in the complexity of life or they choose to ignore the fact that they have some control over their impending future. Part of this I can understand; it is easy to get stuck on autopilot in life, to sail through without ever really taking a look at what we're doing or where we're going. But the simple and often devastating fact is that what we're doing is going to take us somewhere -- and it may not be where we want to go. I also understand it because, frankly, triage is hard. It's hard to try to take a more objective stance on our lives. It's a lot of work, and requires a lot of thought. Sometimes I wonder if people think they are saving themselves trouble by coasting, by just dancing through life. It may work for awhile, but it seems to me that at some point, the gig will be up and we will have to start making decisions. (Sidenote: maybe this is the real curse of work; the fact that entropy exists and we can't just "be." Hm; something to ponder another day.) The reality I live in says that gardens need tending, cars need maintenance, flowers need to be watered, and people need to be loved; it's almost like the universe is built with a incessant obligation for interaction. There's an intrinsic cause and effect relationship built into the fabric of reality, and like it or not, I think that means us, too. I think that we must broaden our personal skill base in order to include the art of triage. Prioritizing is one of the essential functions we perform as humans, because it the sister of "choice." We cannot make decisions without prioritizing them, but that is exactly what many of us try to do. We have become chronic avoiders, letting life slap us in the face as we walk through. We think that we are somehow saving ourselves trouble by evading personal triage, but in fact, we are killing ourselves. The truth is that for the good of our humanity we must learn the art of triage, or we will never be fully human. //
LifeDecember 7, 2007

Strategist, Catalyst, Philosopher

(DISCLAIMER: There's a whole lot of StrengthsFinder lingo in this post; if you're finding yourself a bit confused, you probably should go check it out!) J. R. R. Tolkien once remarked, "Not all who wander are lost." I imagine many of us are wandering, searching, looking for something. And if you are anything like me, one of the things you want most to find is yourself. To a large degree, I think I've always been on a search, a hunt. I've been looking for what it is that I am "supposed" to do with my life; who I am "supposed" to be. Being the Self-Assured person I am, I've always thought that I had things -- including myself -- pretty well figured out. Well, I'm gradually coming to terms with the fact that that I don't really know much of anything. But I'm OK in the knowledge of that, at least. Here in California I have learned more about myself than I ever even dreamed possible. I attribute a great deal of that insight to the StrengthsFinder, but as with most things, you get out of it what you put into it. And, honestly, I have thought about it a LOT (some may call it obsession, but, whatever). Despite everything I've learned, though, I'm still not sure how to answer those first questions: "What am I supposed to do?" and "Who am I supposed to be?" (for me they're very much the same question). Because of my Competition, Maximizer, and Significance themes, I want to be The Expert in something so badly, I can almost taste it. And truthfully, I want to be the absolute best there is in the entire world. Now, maybe I'm off base here, but that seems to make things a bit tougher. How do you figure out what you're better at than anyone else out of roughly six billion other folks? But I'm trying to walk down this path. I stumble a lot, trip over my thoughts, and occasionally take wrong turns, but hopefully, If one were to look from a satellite vantage point or something, maybe they'd see that I'm at least heading in the right general direction...? It also doesn't help that I'm reading this book, trying to get my head around what it means to be a writer, and the author continually reinforces the fact that in order for people to care about what you say, you have to become an expert in that field. Makes sense. So I'm laying in bed this morning and these thoughts wake me from my slumber: what am I good at? I mean, really good at? I came up with a few things that I think are true. I'm really good at being a strategist. I can look at the variables of almost any given situation and weigh them fairly to determine the best possible outcome. I am good at making clarity out of chaos. I am also good at "connecting dots," at synthesizing information. I am also very good at being a catalyst -- a firestarter, if you will. After the smoke clears, I often seem to be the one left holding the lighter, and, to be honest, I kind of relish that responsibility. I love to start dialogues, to influence people, change minds, elucidate concepts. Which brings me to my last realization. I am a philosopher, but not in the sense that we typically think of philosophy these days. I heard once that the study of philosophy should have never become a collegiate major, or area of study unto itself, and I think I agree. For me the concept of true philosophy is actually about that notion of synthesis, of connection. Philosophy is about learning how to connect everything else; as an end to itself it quickly becomes fairly narcissistic, nihilistic drivel. But real philosophy, as I see it, is about Connectedness. And that, I am good at. So, what to do, what to do... Anyone else notice that epiphanies usually just lead to more questions? //
LifeOctober 2, 2007

Strengths Insight: Communication

I realized this morning on my short drive to the office that communication is actually a big part of how I feel alive. Back in the day, even at the height of my singer/songwriter music performer career, I would have never called myself a prolific songwriter. And now, I write a LOT, and do a ton of graphic design, but I wouldn't call myself a prolific writer or designer. But today, it suddenly became clear to me that I am a rather prolific communicator. In some fashion, I am always producing some form of communication. The reason for that, at least in part, is probably because when I feel/hear/think/realize something, in a strange sense it doesn't become REAL for me until I've shared it. I may do that through a song, a piece of visual art or graphic design, a website, a book, or this blog, but until I've passed it along, I'm not actually sure it happened. To a large degree, I seem to absorb reality by communicating it. Strange, I know, but it probably has something to do with my StrengthsFinder Communication Theme... can anybody else relate? //
LifeFebruary 26, 2007

Luminaries & Black Holes

The most brilliant minds on the planet will tell you that the universe is expanding. We invent telescopes and we create science fiction to "boldly go where no one has gone before," but we never really reach the edges or the explanations. Erwin McManus suggests that the space inside each person is even more vast and complicated. From his latest book, Soul Cravings:
"There is as much mystery inside as there is outside -- maybe more. If you look carefully inside people, you'll find both luminaries and black holes. And if you choose to walk with someone for a lifetime, you'll find that no matter how well you know him or her, there's still so much you don't know. [Unfortunately], some people seem to live in a very small universe. Their world has room only for themselves. While their souls have every potential to be ever expanding, they seem instead to be the center of a collapsing universe -- no room for dreams, for hope, for laughter, for love, for others -- room only for themselves."
I desperately want to work with Luminaries, and I am making it my goal to un-surrounded myself of the Black Holes who have no desire to ever become Stars. Individuals who strive to absorb the sun from everyone else on their path to obscurity are not welcome here; life is just too short. I need the light. //