We’re Either Bent Toward Cooperation Or War



We humans are all so inherently, ineffably different. The consequence is we can either have the constant, incredible desire to fight with each other because we are so different, or we can leverage our diversity to become the greatest collaborators imaginable.

The challenge is that we can never do both of these things at the same time.

Let me break this down another way.

Some things come easy to us and some things do not. What is impossible for one person is easy for another.

It’s rather like tallness — to a tall person, getting a plate off the high shelf is the easiest thing in the world. To someone short, it is all but impossible (without assistance from a chair or ladder). Should the ‘shorts’ be spending their lives hating the ‘talls,’ or vice-versa? It seems it would be much better if they were simply to use each other for their complementary strengths.

We are either bent toward collaboration or war.

And we have the equal capacity for both of these things in us at all times.

The only thing that makes the difference is what we decide to do in each moment. Most times, these aren’t big, sweeping decisions, either, but tiny, micro-choices. We make millions of these every day: How do I view my colleague in the office across the hall? What’s my opinion of the barista behind the counter? What the story behind the person mopping the floor?

This tiny space is where war begins; not in our corporate conference rooms or the Oval Office or the Pentagon, but inside each of our heads and behind our eyes, in the microscopic ways we decide to see the world, every second of every day.

So… collaboration or war?


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Advice For New Parents: Prepare Yourself For A Sh*tload Of Advice



When you become a new parent, already-parents are guaranteed to tell you a lot of things. Guaranteed to be among these things is the statement: “Enjoy it; it goes so fast!”

I meant what I said in the title of this post — there is a shitload (that’s a business term; I have an MBA, people) of advice that comes your way when you become a parent… so why is this one idea so consistent?

I have three thoughts about this:

First, this is actually pretty solid advice. Be in the moment as much as you can, because babies really do change mind-blowingly, absurdly FAST.

Second, what nobody tells you beforehand is that in some ways it’s kinda good that it goes by fast. Babies are cute (sometimes; and sometimes newborns are super creepy looking… we can speak honestly about it — though mine was always beautiful, of course) and they certainly are soft and cuddly, but they don’t, well… do much. The fun really starts when they start to respond and react to the world around them. Don’t get me wrong, I tried my best to be present and in the moment with my newborn baby — but I also have to say she is WAY cooler as a responsive human instead of a super cute blob.

Third, I suspect there’s something about this statement — “Enjoy it; it goes so fast!” — that speaks more about the parents than it does the kids.

I think this statement is a reflection that as adults we allow ourselves to think that life is static, that it doesn’t really move or progress. The way we live our “adult lives” often allows this myth to feel true — we can go through our days and they look much the same: get up, go to work, come home, go to bed, etc. But when you have a kid, continuing to foster this myth is totally impossible (especially if you’re really trying to do #1). This is because children remind us that time never slows, and it never ever stops. My baby looks different today than she did yesterday. This week she’s undeniably doing more cool stuff than she was last week. I can’t ignore it, because I’m slapped in the face with the reality of constant newness whenever I see her (continually changing) adorable face.

Life is constantly shifting/growing/evolving, and maybe, deep down, many of us aren’t really OK with that. We’d rather just sit still awhile. But parents can’t do that (literally or figuratively), so whenever possible we project this melancholy, quasi-depressing, nostalgia-dripping statement of “Enjoy it; it goes so fast!” onto the newest members of our parent club, partially hoping they find a way to somehow do it better than we did, but also reveling in the fact that, at the end of the day, they totally won’t.


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“Feeling Overworked? Don’t Blame Siri” on Forbes


Sometime in the last few years you became an entrepreneur—probably without meaning to.

In the blink of an eye, your credit card was charged, your account was activated, and you went from being a traditional employee with clear work boundaries to someone who would carry their job around with them 24/7. Your world changed forever.

I am talking, of course, about the moment you got a smartphone. In that moment, even if you are a traditional employee working for an organization, you inherited something entrepreneurs have been battling with for years: never-ending work…



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